Download A Highly Unlikely Scenario, or a Neetsa Pizza Employee's by Rachel Cantor PDF

By Rachel Cantor

"Cosmic and comedian, packed with philosophy, mysticism and celestial whimsy. either profoundly wild and wildly profound."
--Charles Yu, writer of How to reside accurately in a technology Fictional Universe

In the not-too-distant destiny, competing gigantic quickly nutrients factions rule the realm. Leonard works for Neetsa Pizza, the Pythagorean pizza chain, in a lonely yet hugely surveilled domestic place of work, answering calls on his court cases hotline. It's a run of the mill activity, yet he likes it--there's a suite solution for each state of affairs, and he by no means has to go away the home. other than then he begins getting calls from Marco, who claims to be a thirteenth-century explorer simply lower back from Cathay. And what do you are saying to a caller like that? Plus, Neetsa Pizza doesn't love it for those who burst off script.

Meanwhile, Leonard's sister retains disappearing on mystery missions along with her "book club," leaving him to maintain his nephew, this means that Leonard has to head outdoor. and out of doors is the place the difficulty begins.

A wonderful debut novel in which medieval Kabbalists, infrequent publication librarians, and Latter-Day Baconians skirmish for keep watch over over mystery mystical wisdom, and one Neetsa Pizza worker discovers that you just can't retailer the area with pizza coupons.

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Additional info for A Highly Unlikely Scenario, or a Neetsa Pizza Employee's Guide to Saving the World: A Novel

Sample text

At some point we found ourselves at the Porta Potties. SlingBlade went into one, but I had to wait because the other was occupied. He came out laughing. ” Tucker [I was so in shock, I put the bullhorn down] “You took a dump in a Porta Potty? ” The guy in my Porta Potty came out. As I opened the door to go in, I recoiled in terror. Tucker “OHH! ” He started walking away, like everything was just fine and dandy. Tucker “Hey you, come back here. ” Thus is the power and authority of the bullhorn: The guy actually walked back to the Porta Potty and took a sniff.

In order to solve this problem, the people in charge make grad students camp out in a field to get into the lottery for the chance to get tickets. They expect you to spend a weekend sleeping in dirt and checking in every time they blow their whistles, like a fucking homeless kindergartener. You think I’m exaggerating, don’t you? This is taken directly from the Duke grad student website: “Welcome to Duke! Let’s get right to the most important issue on your mind: How can YOU get season tickets to this year’s men’s basketball games in Cameron Indoor Stadium?

I pull out the wallet, casually look into the side pocket, see $80, consider stealing it, but don’t. I feel like taking her money AND her soul is not cool. One or the other. I pull out her license. Her name is Stacey. Never would have guessed Stacey. Weight, 110? Yeah. During the Reagan administration. And goddamn, she kinda looks hot here. She’s the first person I’ve ever met who looks better in her driver’s license picture. I put the wallet back in her purse and go back to eating my cereal and watching Springer.

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