By Henry Beard; Douglas C Kenney; J R R Tolkien
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Extra resources for Bored of the rings : a parody of J.R.R. Tolkien's The lord of the rings
It was about four feet tall, very dark-complexioned, with a tail like a plank steak, a black beret, and wrap-around dark glasses. "Your servant," lisped the strange creature, bowing low. Arrowroot eyed the brute thoughtfully. " he said at last, his hand falling to his sword hilt. "An innocent traveler like yourselves," said the brown figure, slapping his tail for emphasis. " Arrowroot sighed with relief. "Well, you are welcome," he said. " The creature laughed indulgently, revealing a pair of front teeth the size of bathroom tiles.
A pack of black giants riding huge pigs came through the mountains last month hunting for a boggie named Bugger. " "This, too, is grave," declared Orlon. "It is only a matter of time before they come here," he said, pulling a shawl over his head and making a gesture of throwing something of a conciliatory nature to a shark, "and as neutrals, we would have no choice . " Frito shuddered. "The Ring and its bearer must go hence," agreed Goodgulf, "but where? " "The elves," said Gimlet. "The dwarves," said Legolam.
The wizards," said Arrowroot. "The Men of Twodor," said Goodgulf. "That leaves only Fordor," said Orlon. " "Even a dwarf," admitted Legolam. Frito suddenly felt that all eyes were on him. " he said. " "Alas," explained Goodgulf. "Alackaday," Orlon agreed. " "Good old Gimlet will go with you," said Legolam. "And fearless Legolam," said Gimlet. "And noble King Arrowroot," said Bromosel. "And faithful Bromosel," said Arrowroot. "And Moxie, Pepsi, and Spam," said Dildo. "And Goodgulf Grayteeth," added Orlon.